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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 12:37 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats
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Peachtree
Posts: 76
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This is a topic a friend and I have discused till we are blue in the face and I would love some other points of view. Where men are concerned, do you think sewing his wild oats is something they really need to get out of their system or is it just a mind set or excuse?
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 12:56 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats |
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Loreli
Posts: 25,401
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Peach
I don't think the act of "sewing wild oats" is limited to just the men nowdays.
In the old days women grew up, married, had families and kept the house and men worked. Now it's more equal in working jobs and raising families, and I think women are far more socially involved than they were a few decades ago. Everyone should "get "it" out of their system" before they commit to somebody. It would certainly lower the divorce rate....
ANYONE who uses the excuse of sewing wild oats just is not ready to make a promise to another.
my two cents worth.....
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 3:39 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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The oat thing....It should of been done when the men were just out of high school. Agree with Miss loreli....its just a excuse.. and the online thing has made it easier Its a virtual smorgesborg.
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 3:46 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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Sewing wild oats definitely does go for BOTH sexes. As for it being necessary, I don't think so. If you're not ready to commit, the reason doesn't matter.
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 3:57 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats
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spongebob777
Posts: 7,904
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I left a trail of destruction right after high school but I never saw it as sewing wild oats. All my friends male and female were doing the same things every day.
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 4:20 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats |
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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I would have to agree with Loreli that this is something that is DEFINITELY not limited to men these days. I, for one, have never felt the need to sow any wild oats. My ex, on the other hand, gets that "seven-year itch" about every seven MONTHS!
I think it's a particular mind set with some people. Some are predisposed to quantity over quality. Some of us, however, would rather do without and wait for that one special person to share ourselves with.
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 4:55 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats
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Peachtree
Posts: 76
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Well I agree, it's different with different people and I know it's not limmited to men. I just happen to have a problem with one man about it. He hasn't gotten his chance at all of that and he has been in the mind set of getting it done. However he is so busy keeping up with me that he hasn't actually DONE any of it. He says that's what he needs to do and doesn't want to commit to a relationship. He's afraid that becasue he hasn't sown, he might mess things up but that he wants me. We go out, lay next to eachother, do things with my childern, talk every day if not twice, and he persues this more then I do. I want the relationship but he's confussing the s*** out of me. I don't want to push cause it just ends up hurting both of us but at the same time if I don't push nothing (I'm afraid) is going to change.
We haven't been "dating" long but we both feel a great deal for one another. AHHHHH!
What's a girl to do :I
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 5:00 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats |
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Peachtree
Posts: 76
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Oh and Painter, thing is he didn't get a right out of high school thing. He's a little behind in that respect. And it's no internet thing. Somehow, it would be easier I think.
I should add that I do want him to do this thing if that's what he wants and I have told him as much but he hasn't. If that's what he wants he should do it and leave me alone but I think he's afraid of loosing me. Could that be it?
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 5:08 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats
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SunBabe
Posts: 12,279
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I think he's afraid of loosing me. Could that be it?
Methinks you hit the nail squarely on the head, Peachy!
He knows a good thang when he sees it...but he also recognizes that he's still curious about what else is out there.
~sigh~ sometimes "timing" sucks, babe. ~groan~ maybe you two need a "time out" (ouch)
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 5:24 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats |
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Peachtree
Posts: 76
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Well we did that. He called a break after our first 10 days. (how scarry is that) He said it would be about 2 weeks but it lasted 7 days. On day 8 HE called me. I called a time out and told him I could talk to him but we couldn't go out and when we did the kids would not have any part of it. That never even happened.
We talked about our "timing" and we both agree with you. Timing can suck big time sometimes, but neither one of us want to let this go. 
Well, it really feels good to get it out and off my chest. Thank you guys for letting me share. I just don't know what to do even though I know what would be best for me is to walk away.
[Edited on 6
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| Jun 10, 2006 @ 5:56 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats
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JesterDrawers
Posts: 11,116
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Hmmmm....Peach, you say you haven't beed dating long. How long is "not long"?
You say he's not ready to commit to a relationship yet, and as painful as it may be, at least he's been honest with you about this. How would you feel about dating him without that commitment? I mean, how would you feel about dating him and wondering in the back of your mind if tonight is the night he's going to sow those wild oats? I'm being serious here, not meaning to offend. If you told him that if that's something he feels the need to do he should go ahead and get it out of his system, and yet, if neither of you wants to let go of one another, how would you feel with that "shadow" being always present? Is it something you could live with? Just curious....
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| Jun 13, 2006 @ 3:10 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats |
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SylvanDreams
Posts: 2,133
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On the little bit I know from reading your posts, it seems like he can't make up his mind on what it is he really wants.
1. He wants you.
2. He wants to play and see what (who) else is out there.
3. He is afraid of losing you (the known good) if he pursues others (the potential good).
Actually, after having written it out like that, it seems like he wants you, but is afraid there is someone better "out there"; yet, if he looks (and plays) around, he may find out there is NOT anyone better "out there," but while discovering this, he lost you, too....and is left with nothing.
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| Jun 14, 2006 @ 8:47 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats
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Bobbelieu
Posts: 137
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"Sewing" wild oats sounds time consuming and I don't always have my reading glasses handy. Besides, that doesn't sound nearly as fun as "sowing" wild oats.
(Ok, I'll save you all a lot of time and just declare myself a smart ass now...  )
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| Jun 14, 2006 @ 8:50 PM |
Sewing Wild Oats |
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definitelydi
Posts: 12,602
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LMAO! Great catch there, Bob! And I usually notice stuff like that! 
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