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| Jul 18, 2006 @ 11:51 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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YouNeverKnow69
Posts: 7
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Because the next profile is just a click away.
Allow me to explain myself.
I have been meeting women from the internet for over a few years and quite frankly, have been truthful in what i was looking for and even keeping my photos current. I have found for the most part that if I happen to like the person, they are not going to like me and if they like me, I probably am not going to like them. I never could figure that out. Now I have met some women who I dated for awhile and some i remained friends with even after the date didn't go as plan.
But anyways back to the click. It appears that there is a lot of bulls***ting going on on people's profiles whether it be what or how they describe themselves or by posting very old photos of themselves which they no longer look like that person. Now by bulls***ting on their profile, they are obviously sprucing it up to entice unsuspecting females......or males to click on them. bad bad bad. So when you go on your next internet date, the person you are meeting is sizing you up and comparing you to other profiles to see which one may be the better catch even though you are being your true self and the profile she is thinking about may be totally bogus. So you see, in my opinion, this is why internet dating doesn't, for the most part, doesn't work.
Lets hear what you have to say on this subject and yes, check out my profile, i'm still single.
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| Jul 18, 2006 @ 11:56 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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Cidronlvnv
Posts: 285
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I beg to differ with you on it doesnt work.
Waaaay back, 10 yrs, I was playin a game online..and I was jus being friendly. This girl came along and we started hangin out together online. Then, we really started hangin out online (yea, cyber). Then, we jus were online long enough to make sure the other was home. Then one would call the other. Then we really hung out on the phone too.. (yeah, the phone stuff too). After a time, I came out here to visit. Spent two weeks here, and I dont recall a single building we went to. Went back home to wrap up business. Returned here, to stay some 4-5 months later (after my boss' tax stuff was done). Moved in with her, and two years later we married. Sure, the marriage is on the rocks right now, but it did last four years, 10 in total together. It was tough while we had the distance, but we made it work. It can work if you try and find a reason to make it work.
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 9:17 AM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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Thor1960303
Posts: 3,345
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I married the woman I met online.It worked for me.
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 10:21 AM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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happygrlok
Posts: 7,552
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So when you go on your next internet date, the person you are meeting is sizing you up and comparing you to other profiles to see which one may be the better catch even though you are being your true self and the profile she is thinking about may be totally bogus
I can't speak for anyone else, but I do not do that, nor do I think the majority of people do it either. If I am fortunate enough to find a man I am interested, I concentrate on him. I want to see how far we can go together. I do not think about any other profiles I may have read, as this one man has my complete attention. I don't think we are doing justice to each other, if we are already thing about who we are going to replace each other with. How shallow that would be, as well as a complete waste of energy. I would hope by the time we meet we have learned enough about each other to know if the relationship has possibilities.
I think if people are doing that, they are not truly looking for a lasting relationship. They are really just looking for NEXT.....Yes, there are players on here, for what ever their reasons may be, but many of us are not.
I do think interner dating can work, but it depends on the two people, and how much they are willing to put into it, to make it work.
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 10:27 AM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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willsmalto
Posts: 3,645
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it's a person/luck dependent issue. It works for some and don't for others. it's a matter of luck or something.
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 11:34 AM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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YouNeverKnow69
Posts: 7
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Oh I know it does work for some like it did for you two Cidronlvnv & Thor...... 
Good for you two........Now I met this woman and we saw each other weekly for a couple of months (just once a week) and she wanted to have a relationship with me but she wasn't "my type" for me to be totally exclusive to her which I explained to her however I did enjoy her company and going to dinner with her etc but she wouldn't have anything to do with it, be exclusive or nothing at all. I haven't seen nor talked with her for about 2 months now.
And you're right Happygrlok, thats the way internet dating is spose to work.....learn about that person and then see if the attraction is there when you meet and then take it to the next level. Like you said, too many people "are really just looking for NEXT"......I gotta agree with you, nicely stated.
Willsmalto.......yep, a matter of luck........spin the dice man!!!!!!!
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 11:59 AM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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Cidronlvnv
Posts: 285
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oh, in my earlier post. I forgot to mention that internet dating FORCED us to get to know each other before any sex, or marriage, or whatever. We really got to know each other long before even seeing each other.
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 12:32 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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sirdidymus
Posts: 1,087
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i've thought a lot in the past about the merits of internet dating - here's my take, in no particular order.
the good:
==> it's helps to facilitate meeting people that you'd otherwise never get the chance to meet (presuming those meetings are for the better)
==>it gives you the opportunity to get to know someone and develop a rapport w/them before meeting, so there's more of a comfort level when meeting face to face
==> like any sort of dating, sometimes you have to swim through the muck and the mire but if you someday find someone special - in retrospect - it will have been worth it
the bad:
==> people can totally deceive you and pretend to be something/someone they're not - and it may be hard to figure out before you're in too late to avoid getting too hurt
==> less chance that someone will commit, even when finding someone that is good and nice - who if they met outside of the online dating world, they may have in fact settled with. there's just too many options (there's is where it's a women's market) and the "kid in the candy store" mentality takes over. instead of sticking with someone and working through the issues and tough times, we allow ourselves to become INCREDIBLY and overbearingly so, finicky and selective. It's easy to do because there's always the notion that there will be another person right around the corner - or maybe three other people that are being communicated with at the same time right now - y'know, just in case (come on people - you know you do it).
==> it's ripe for dishonesty. people are trying to balance their load. they meet someone they may like - but have other people too but they don't want to jeopardize any possibility with other people so there's lies, deciet, stretching of the truths and justifications to get what we want - all under the veil of "the end justifying the means"
==> it can be used as a crutch. from a women's perspective - sure - it makes sense to be somewhat cautious and want to chat with a person a little bit before meeting. but i, as i'm sure have most other guys - come across the worst side of that - where all the person wants to do is email and IM but never really is willing to put themselves on the line to actually meet. To each their own, but then what's the point - if i wanted a penpal - i'd join a penpal site :P
Here is my take. I enjoy online dating for the opportunities it affords me. Ideally, i would prefer myself to be in a long term relationship. I'd like to use the internet as a means to an end, make the connection, chat/IM (eww)/phone enough so that you can make that in person connection - and then see if there's something to go from there.
I'm weird in the respect that if i like someone outside of just casual, i would really only rather date that person and only that person - but it seems that for most people - even if there's a romantic interest - they can't let go of the other prospects. I can't help but feel that if someone isn't sure if they want to be with me, I would have to presume that it's not me they need to be with.
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 12:39 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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well, after reading all these comments, i realized that my profile sucked- so, i redid it- the one i had on before was too vague and boring  - the new one may be a little on the blunt side  but i would rather be very direct than to play any stupid boring game !! 
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 12:44 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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YouNeverKnow69
Posts: 7
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Right on Sirdid..............I totally agree.
==> less chance that someone will commit, even when finding someone that is good and nice - who if they met outside of the online dating world, they may have in fact settled with. there's just too many options (there's is where it's a women's market) and the "kid in the candy store" mentality takes over. instead of sticking with someone and working through the issues and tough times, we allow ourselves to become INCREDIBLY and overbearingly so, finicky and selective. It's easy to do because there's always the notion that there will be another person right around the corner - or maybe three other people that are being communicated with at the same time right now - y'know, just in case (come on people - you know you do it).
LOL @ Wiccked.........at least you got something out of my thread......let me know if it helped.
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 12:51 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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kid in the candy store?????  hey, at my age there are no kids and very little candy left!!!  mmm, what's a chocoholic to do?? 
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 1:42 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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YouNeverKnow69
Posts: 7
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trying going to the food sex store instead of the candy store
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 2:12 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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painter007
Posts: 17,854
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its a visual smorgesborg
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 2:30 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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please give me the directions- i will be forever 
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 2:31 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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donny3
Posts: 573
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North on I65 to Indy
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 2:32 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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Painters right.  What ever people are shopping for, it's all right there on the menu
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 2:34 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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Hey Wiccked ...... Are you going to take your PUPPY with you ???? 
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 3:04 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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what do you say, donny??? can i bring my puppy with me???
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 3:10 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work
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NeverB4Alone
Posts: 9,041
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Oh Yeah .... Right .... Then I get left outside on a leash ....
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| Jul 19, 2006 @ 3:17 PM |
Why internet dating doesn't work |
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wiccked
Posts: 12,300
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shaddup!!!!  at least you go to go!!!!
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