| Feb 15 @ 7:26 PM |
Forgiveness
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Ladyhawk920
Posts: 350
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I believe that forgiveness is one of the hardest lessons to learn in life to apply and teach to your child.
I am not a churchgoing person but I consider myself religious in my own way and have deep faith in God.
I would like to know one thing.....is Forgiveness instant gratification for the person receiving it or giving it?
I recently had a family member hurt me and my daughter very deeply and I do forgive him but the wound is deep and takes time to heal....and it's taking me awhile to completely forgive him. Of all days to show his worst behavior, it was the day of my Mother's funeral service....his wife also didn't do any better.
I know in time, I'll get over it and completey forgive what happened but for now I have no urge to communicate with them whatsoever. His wife as not spoken to me since and has never apologized....but that is a sign of her character not mine.
So, in this forum I'm just wondering if I'm holding on too long with being upset and should offer complete forgiveness? I've been keeping pretty quiet.
I would like your opinion. I do know that you can't just halfway forgive someone..... 
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| Feb 15 @ 7:41 PM |
Forgiveness |
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,448
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I'm sorry this happened to you. 
It's difficult, but I believe that you will only be truly happy if you can truly forgive.
Forgiving is not letting someone walk all over you. Rather it is a gift of compassion that can only bring good to you and teach you daughter compassion also.
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| Feb 15 @ 8:00 PM |
Forgiveness
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uncrazy
Posts: 1,539
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Ladyhawk,
I would like to know one thing.....is Forgiveness instant gratification for the person receiving it or giving it?
Yes, forgiveness is difficult and takes much practice to learn. I have been told that all the gifts of forgiveness go to the forgiver. To hold them completely innocent allows me to put down my judgement of them that made them guilty. With my judgements I lay my sins on others, and end up sharing in the guilt.
You work an honorable task...difficult for even near masters.
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| Feb 15 @ 8:08 PM |
Forgiveness |
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,448
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Good answer, Uncrazy.
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| Feb 15 @ 8:11 PM |
Forgiveness
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,280
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I think this is the hardest thing to do. Is is one of the things we are asked to do though.
I believe it is to go both ways though. The person that was hurt though,,it will take a while longer. You will never forget, but you can forgive in time.
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| Feb 15 @ 8:33 PM |
Forgiveness |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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lets see, repentence and forgivness. the confusion is where? oh yeah! "who is my brother". yep, you are right! who is my brother! there is the debate! the simians say that all is my brother but, Teacher begs to differ! LOL we be jammin
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| Feb 15 @ 8:36 PM |
Forgiveness
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,360
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I know in time, I'll get over it and completey forgive what happened but for now I have no urge to communicate with them whatsoever. His wife as not spoken to me since and has never apologized....but that is a sign of her character not mine.
Boy this sounds familiar...the day of my mother's burial, for me. It was about 15 years before we re-established decent relations, but it did happen eventually. I had no problem forgiving by then, but it meant missing out on getting to know their children while they were growing up - something we're still working at making up for, and I think something that hurt everyone a lot more than I would have thought it would. I hope it's quicker and far less costly for your family than it was for mine.
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| Feb 15 @ 8:37 PM |
Forgiveness |
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uncrazy
Posts: 1,539
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Katt,
Ultimately holding them innocent will free my mind of the hurt...for I will have laid down the judgement that made their hurting me become true. My belief that they are innocent makes me innocent of the guilt I create for me by judging them. Forgiveness is curative...the man Jesus told to pick up his crutches and walk was not a curative miracle, but a result of his return to innocence when Jesus said his sins were forgiven. The emphasis that this was a miracle of healing only could be thought of as coming from a first level of understanding. The second level of understanding would be the role of forgiveness in the outcome. And...only five more levels of understanding lie yet hidden.
If the bible is closely read forgiveness is the path back to God...it is the foundation principle of At-One-ment
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| Feb 15 @ 8:43 PM |
Forgiveness
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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duh, un crazy, repentence is the key, you have not paid attention whatsoever to my teacher! you must repent! words forgive words and deeds forgive deeds! "as you would have others do unto you, do unto them also" why is this part so hard!!! oh yeah, how much do i get paid! lol lady hawk! it is not forgivness! it is repentence! the simians point to everyone else! you are normal! you are female! try to imprint into your mind! repentence! they must repent! otherwise your words of forgiveness are just words.
[Edited on 2/15/2008 8:51 PM]
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| Feb 15 @ 8:49 PM |
Forgiveness |
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,448
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Repentance is not the key. 
The key is the Truth.
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| Feb 15 @ 8:54 PM |
Forgiveness
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uncrazy
Posts: 1,539
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Jammin,
I just volunteer to do it first...I will not wait for action on their part.
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| Feb 15 @ 8:56 PM |
Forgiveness |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,280
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Thank you Uncrazy. I do remember you telling me this before and I will try my best!
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| Feb 15 @ 9:01 PM |
Forgiveness
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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what is truth? you are correct, for without truth there is no true repentence. is truth honor? is truth that which we agree is truth? perhaps the most profound question, "what is truth"? hmm, i have no doubt that there are many unwise men pondering this question. the truth is between you and i. as my Father watches, we decide what is truth. the truth is joy and happiness. there is no joy in the pain of another. joy must equal joy. f*** the antiestablishment! that is a game for the simians. in my Fathers house there are many mansions. as for me, i will drop in on my Fathers house on ocassion. the rest of the time, i will be enjoying my Father. selah
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| Feb 15 @ 10:39 PM |
Forgiveness |
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sweetsongs17
Posts: 368
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I always offer complete forgiveness. I do not believe it to be a one time event, in forgiving. When we are in a state of unforgiveness, we hold onto past anger and hurt, often it lacks in compassion. The choice to forgive, in part is letting go of that anger. It encompass compassion and humility. Perhaps a person wronged us. We do not know all of the circumstances behind the action that caused us hurt or were we were wronged. To forgive frees us of the pain, and it takes time. It lets go of anger, bitterness, resentment and allows God to heal those pains and to deal with the other person, in complete truth. One must always remember to forgive, but it doesn't mean that we keep ourselves in the same position or tolerate abuse.
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| Feb 16 @ 1:31 AM |
Forgiveness
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uncrazy
Posts: 1,539
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Jammin,
From http://www.theopedia.com/Repentance
Hebrew
shûb-This term is found over 1,000 times in the Old Testament, and in the vast majority of its uses refers to a literal change of direction.
nâcham- This term is found over 100 times in the Old Testament and means to be sorry, or to pity or console oneself.
Greek
metanoeo-This term is the one most commonly translated in the New Testament as "repentance" and literally means "to change one’s mind or purpose, to repent."
metamelomi-This term carries a more emotional implication and literally means "to feel repentance, to rue, regret
epistrepho-Although never translated as "repentance", this word furthers the understanding of God's clear command for a change of mind, a heartfelt sorrow for sin, and a turning from sin.
With these definitions of repentance and using the ideas of changing direction of my mind or my purpose...I offer that I strive to find others innocent rather than to judge them. My action of mind appears to create new conditions in both lives(mine and theirs)...I also see it as the quickest return to loving them. Loving them the way they are is the very fastest way to allow them what might be needed by them to change. I just try to be careful that by my judgements of them as guilty I am withholding the love needed to effect a change. I used to withhold my love to pressure them to change...I'm less willing to encumber anyone now. Only love has the capacity to enfold the unlovable. And besides my behavior actually benefits me the most.
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| Feb 16 @ 3:07 PM |
Forgiveness |
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Jankia
Posts: 9,171
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If a person truly forgives completely they will soon find out how much easier than many think it is.Its only hard because you havent forgiven..completely.
Forgiveness isnt something you can teach anyone,let alone your children because forgiving is something personal,its a lesson within us not one to be taught or one to seek action from those who we forgive.
You can forgive completely but you cant forget the entire reason for it completely but you can forget the anger.
The sooner the better,if only for yourself.
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| Feb 16 @ 3:09 PM |
Forgiveness
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 15,360
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The sooner the better,if only for yourself.
 Holding grudges is the worst cancer there is, it eats at you and kills your happiness and peace of mind, and without that, why even bother living?
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| Feb 16 @ 3:39 PM |
Forgiveness |
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jamminjerry
Posts: 3,780
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hold a grudge? against someone you do not even know? ah! the war machine! 9-11! make a buck! got it! my teacher had a different point of view. "depart from me ye workers of iniquity, for i know ye not" only the simians would be angry at someone they do not know. Jesus is not angry at the sinner, he is angry at those who say they have repented and they have not. selah
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| Feb 16 @ 9:58 PM |
Forgiveness
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uncrazy
Posts: 1,539
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Jankia,
I was blessed to have been taught how to forgive. I would have guessed that forgiveness would be a component of curricula offered by churches, but it came from a teacher with only spirit.
Other courses that might be useful offerings by churches:
What to do so judging is not required.
Loving others the way they are.
Signs and symptoms of self-righteousness.
Salvation is Inevitable.
Impact of illusions of separation from God.
The hidden feminine themes in the NT.
I suspect that these type offerings would kick up attendance at sunday schools. I think we will be safe though, most church groups would quickly dispose of any clergy suggesting even one of the above.
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| Feb 16 @ 10:03 PM |
Forgiveness |
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,448
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What to do so judging is not required.
Loving others the way they are.
Signs and symptoms of self-righteousness.
Salvation is Inevitable.
Impact of illusions of separation from God.
The hidden feminine themes in the NT.
why do I hear don henley singing every time i see this thread?
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