| Feb 29 @ 11:08 AM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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Loreli
Posts: 18,401
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Choose kind.
(sorry-it's long...)
I watched a little of Dyer's motivational speech.
I don't agree with all of anyone's teachings or ideals (yet?), but he makes good points
[QUOTE]) An attitude of gratitude will take you a long way. Rumi said, "Trade your knowledge for bewilderment." It is good to be in awe of all that you have attracted into your life and the more you are grateful for that – the more that will flow freely into your life.
5) Paraphrasing Dyer: There are no branches of any trees that think it is wise to fight with each other. In other words, there is no value in fighting with others as we are all from the same metaphorical human tree of life. There is an old zen saying that goes something like this: Whatever you are for, strengthens you and whatever you are against, weakens you.
7) You must be independent of the opinion of others. No one can make you into what you are not. You are responsible to no one for your actions and thoughts except yourself. In addition, you are not in control of your reputation. All you can control is yourself and how you act on a day to day basis.
8) You alone choose your emotional state each day. No one can make you feel any different than you choose to feel on any day. Therefore take full responsibility for the emotional states that you choose to embrace each day.
9) You are not your body nor are you the possessions that you believe you have. You are timeless; perfect; …just the way you have forever been and will forever be... You are a spiritual being having a human experience.
10) Meditation can help you solve problems and achieve inner peace. While mental visualization of your intentions or goals is a good thing to do, think of “meditation” as finding a way to quiet your mind to reach a place of "no-thought." Quieting your mind is one of the best ways to center yourself, connect with your source and listen in the silence therein to your source.
11) Your EGO is always at odds with universal laws and principles. Best to identify when you are acting from ego vs. acting from your true authentic self. Your ego wants you to feel special and different than others but the reality is that we are one in our truth and have no differences. Focus on radical humility and respect for yourself and others. Your ego will always be attacking you until it gets your attention.
12) You can only give others what you have inside of yourself. Therefore to give love away to others, you must cultivate love for yourself FIRST. Dyer uses the metaphor of squeezing an orange – asking you what comes out when you squeeze it. Most people answer, “orange juice” comes out. Why? Because that is what is inside. When humans are squeezed, what comes out of them is what they harbor inside of themselves. Harbor love, acceptance, joy, confidence, peace and harmony towards yourself so that you can radiate it towards others. You can only extend to another that which you are in truth.
13) Your relationship with others does not really exist. You only have your perception of your relationship with others to act on. Therefore you must focus on making sure you perceive your relationship with others on the terms that you hope for the future of the relationship to exist. You must want harmony within yourself and then with the other person. You always have within you what you wish to see or give another.
14) Our intentions create our reality. We each create our own personal realities by what we focus on and intend to happen for our experiences. Therefore we have an enormous responsibility to choose our intentions carefully.
15) Be attached to nothing but rather "be" what you want for your life. Attachment can cloud your ability to attract what you want. When you let go and surrender to your perfect self, you will attract what you desire.
16) There is never any scarcity of opportunity, but rather there is only scarcity of resolve to seize the opportunities that knock on our door every day. Scarcity does not exist unless we choose to embrace it…therefore, it is better to never embrace scarcity. Embrace the possibility for abundance.
17) When the teacher is ready, the students will appear. When the student is ready, the teachers will appear. We often can not learn the lessons we are here to learn if we are not receptive to learn. Be open and ready rather than resistant to the possibility to change but rather expand and become more open.
18) No one was ever hurt by practicing random acts of kindness. The law of reciprocity always rewards kindness and even more-so when you are kind without any expectation of needing a return. There is no difference in the words "giving" and "receiving."
20) Judgment: One of our purposes in life is to find a way to free ourselves of our need to judge others in a negative light. As we see others, we also see ourselves. This is the work of our ego and judging others prevents us from seeing the good in them. There is no value in judging others poorly.
21) Dyer says, “It’s Never Crowded Along the Extra Mile.” That means that we must always give more than we expect to receive. In doing so, we join the small percentage of achievers that consistently go above and beyond the call of duty to serve others. The rewards are often disproportionate for those who go the extra mile vs. those who only do the minimum they need to get by. We give without expectations.
22) Trust in yourself and in doing so, you tr
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| Feb 29 @ 5:08 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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BandTMom
Posts: 24,697
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As being "right is only a perception of what we think is "right" and is therefore an illusion, I will 99% of the time try to be kind.
There are limits on even how far a mom will go though. 
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| Feb 29 @ 6:24 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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SunBabe
Posts: 11,589
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 ~ahem~ Then there are those of us who tend to choose "right" all the time (well, after checking facts  ) -- but can occasionally be "kind" about the enforcement. 
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| Feb 29 @ 6:49 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,247
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17) When the teacher is ready, the students will appear. When the student is ready, the teachers will appear. We often can not learn the lessons we are here to learn if we are not receptive to learn. Be open and ready rather than resistant to the possibility to change but rather expand and become more open.
18) No one was ever hurt by practicing random acts of kindness. The law of reciprocity always rewards kindness and even more-so when you are kind without any expectation of needing a return. There is no difference in the words "giving" and "receiving."
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| Feb 29 @ 7:57 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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Jankia
Posts: 8,563
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Just choose to be honest and your choice is made for you by being right and being kind at the same time.
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| Feb 29 @ 8:03 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,299
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Nope, honesty can be the most vicious thing going...I'll bite my tongue first...well, most of the time anyway.
 (close as I could come to tongue biting... )
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| Feb 29 @ 8:09 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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Jankia
Posts: 8,563
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Oh sorry,I didnt know the thread said If Heaven has to choose between being right or being kind 
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| Feb 29 @ 8:12 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,299
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Sorry Jankia, I had a really tough night last Tuesday, and it's much on my mind still. I chose honest, and was extremely cruel in the process. Given the same choices I'd do the same thing again, but usually I'll go with kind.
Sometimes a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do...
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| Feb 29 @ 8:14 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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Jankia
Posts: 8,563
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You dont have to be sorry to me Heaven,I was only funnin with ya. 
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| Feb 29 @ 8:24 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,247
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Through my life time I have learned that you can be both at the same time.
What is the problem is how the other person takes it.
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| Feb 29 @ 8:27 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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sealacamp
Posts: 2,788
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As being "right is only a perception of what we think is "right" and is therefore an illusion,
I beg to differ as it is right to be kind, merciful, love the truth, follow the truth( which you deem subjective), be against murder, stealing, lying, or any other harmful behavior. These are not illusions, they are reality.
S
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| Feb 29 @ 8:33 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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hammertime
Posts: 12,720
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Murder is real but blind faith is an illusion. The hallucination of hearing voices saying to kill and you think its god talking to you. This kind of thing is common in the bible. Lots of people hearing voices and seeing things that are illusion. Paul of Tarsus for one.
Here is such an example of an illusion. A lunatic is told to destroy a whole city simply because they are worshiping in another religion.
Deuteronomy 13
13 Certain men, the children of Belial, are gone out from among you, and have withdrawn the inhabitants of their city, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known; 14 Then shalt thou inquire, and make search, and ask diligently; and, behold, if it be truth, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought among you; 15 Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword. 16 And thou shalt gather all the spoil of it into the midst of the street thereof, and shalt burn with fire the city, and all the spoil thereof every whit, for the LORD thy God: and it shall be an heap for ever; it shall not be built again.
This is beyond illusion. Its a hallucination of god giving orders to act out in a sociopathic level. These are those who think they're right but not very kind.
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| Feb 29 @ 8:38 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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BandTMom
Posts: 24,697
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And there are those who think it is their right to murder, but I won't go into that now. That may a different thread, but not anytime soon.
Some of you know what I am talking about.
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| Feb 29 @ 8:39 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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Jankia
Posts: 8,563
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Very true seal.
From the OP above You can only extend to another that which you are in truth.
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| Feb 29 @ 8:41 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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Heaveninawildflower
Posts: 14,299
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Through my life time I have learned that you can be both at the same time.
What is the problem is how the other person takes it.
Exactly. Sometimes you've gotta be cruel to be kind. Considering that I still cringe about cruel things that I said 40 or 50 years ago, it's not something I do lightly or easily though.
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| Mar 1 @ 11:25 AM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 20,247
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You too? I think back and shudder at things I have said to other people.
I do know that you can't be a kind smiling person every day. We all have moods.
There have been many times where I knew I was right, and I had to let the other person or people learn the hard way. ( kids)
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| Mar 1 @ 12:42 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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Loreli
Posts: 18,401
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You can only give others what you have inside of yourself. Therefore to give love away to others, you must cultivate love for yourself Yep, Katt...and this is why sometimes we have moods that affect our conversations-in life, in cyber-life..
I DO think we can learn to combine honesty and kindness.
Sometimes throwing in the "right" part is darn difficult!
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| Mar 1 @ 12:52 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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freetime503
Posts: 479
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I had a friend years ago who chose "right", cost our friendship for a year. Then I realized after looking at the situation her "right" was her being "kind" and we will be friends forever.
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| Mar 1 @ 12:59 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind
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Loreli
Posts: 18,401
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I'm glad to hear that, free!
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| Mar 1 @ 1:01 PM |
If you have to choose between being right or being kind |
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freetime503
Posts: 479
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Sometimes right hurts, but it is the kindest thing a frind can do.
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