| Sep 14 @ 1:39 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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iam01
Posts: 6,280
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As you know the Joker card can be any card we wish it to be, hence the expression, Joker's Wild. God is used by religious people in exactly the same way. Just as the Joker card can be any card, God can be anything, do anything, whatever anyone wants it to be.... God's Wild!!! 
The game.
Create any statement of anything and then explain how God did it.
Some examples:
Statement: A plane crashes and everyone dies but one small child survives.
Explanation: God saved the little girl by miraculously protecting her during the crash.
Statement: Jimmy is told he is dying from cancer but a year later he is still alive.
Explanation: Jimmy prayed to God and God cured his cancer.
Statement: Alfred says evolution is only a theory and science also explains gravity in a theory.
Explanation: Since gravity is only a theory too, it is God that is holding everyone on the ground. Without God everything would be floating all over the place.
Statement: Daddy, where do whales come from?
Explanation: God created the whole world and made fish on the fifth day.
Thats it!!!! Its so easy we can answer any question we have. 
To make the game more interesting, one person posts a statement and the next poster goes God's Wild to provide an explanation.
Have fun!!
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| Sep 14 @ 3:23 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
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Did you know a whale is not a fish, it's a duck? 
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| Sep 14 @ 3:24 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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iam01
Posts: 6,280
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Explanation: God works in mysterious ways.
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| Sep 14 @ 3:31 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
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Statement: "If God had wanted whales to fly, he would have given them wings."
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| Sep 14 @ 3:48 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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Deborah551
Posts: 1,015
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God did make whales fly. He just called it an airplane and gave it unmovable wings.
(I heard that the airplane was modeled after the shape of the dolphin, and the whales shape is close in design.)
Next question:
When I pray, how do I know God really answered my prayers?
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| Sep 14 @ 3:54 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
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Because a fixed-wing whale didn't flop on your house?
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| Sep 14 @ 5:32 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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iam01
Posts: 6,280
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I thought flying whales were blimps.
God certainly is creative.
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| Sep 14 @ 5:35 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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iam01
Posts: 6,280
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When I pray, how do I know God really answered my prayers?
Because God can hear everyone and its his prerogative to ignore you just so you don't get too greedy. And God answers every prayer with YES, NO, and WAIT. If you can't hear him then you're just not listening hard enough.
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| Sep 14 @ 6:36 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
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I think that if people would just let 'God' the universal light of positive energy, waves and vibes run free, we could just all get on with it all by ourselves and do all sorts of wonderful things. Trouble is, the planet is run by self-obsessed divs, gits and shitheads and they're all human... They stop people from developing their lives in freedom, stop talent from succeeding, stop intelligence from thriving and stop decent and honourable people from getting on, so that people like 50 Billion Bernie Madoff can f*** all over the population and get away with it for decades. And then they use religion as the excuse. "Well he had to be allowed free will and freedom of expression..."
The freedom that universal energy gives you is a choice of paths and some twat mines the whole course with roadsides... with their mine... mine... mine... mine... and mine... all mine...
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| Sep 14 @ 6:52 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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j_goose
Posts: 2,911
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Question: (related to another thread) If the soul of an aborted fetus goes to heaven why are Chrstians so quick to protest in front of abortion clinics? Why arent they killing as many babies as possible?
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| Sep 14 @ 7:29 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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Deborah551
Posts: 1,015
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Answer to Goose From God: Hey Goose, quit asking questions I can't answer. Now, go think of something dumb to ask me.
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| Sep 14 @ 7:42 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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j_goose
Posts: 2,911
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Ok, god....
Why don't you show yourself like you did to so many in the OT?
Do we have to set up a challenge like in the story of Ba'al?
And just a side question for my benefit:
WTF is up with the Platypus?
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| Sep 14 @ 9:03 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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iam01
Posts: 6,280
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Question: (related to another thread) If the soul of an aborted fetus goes to heaven why are Chrstians so quick to protest in front of abortion clinics? Why arent they killing as many babies as possible?
Explanation: Only God knows where their souls go but Christians are fallible and would prefer babies to grow up to become adult Christians so they can become solders for Armageddon and kill infidels, heretics and apostates.
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| Sep 14 @ 10:41 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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Deborah551
Posts: 1,015
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WTF is up with the Platypus?
God to Goose: I was wondering about that myself. I just like to play jokes on you all so that when man came up with evolution he would have an animal he couldn't really identify as belonging to any animal species. Hey, I'm God, I can't know everything, you know.
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| Sep 15 @ 10:20 AM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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iam01
Posts: 6,280
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WTF is up with the Platypus?
This might have been a river rat whose face was stomped on by an elephant. God might use other animals to help him out.
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| Sep 15 @ 10:37 AM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
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Platypus was last seen cruising up Loch Ness pretending to be a whale. 
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| Sep 15 @ 5:17 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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Deborah551
Posts: 1,015
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Did Adam and Eve have belly butttons?
How many animals were on the ark?
If you're God, why did you rest on the 7th day?
Why did you ask Abe to kill his son, and it's not wrong, yet if I asked someone to kill my son I'd go to jail for it?
Why are you so jealous and angry? Can't you just zap anyone who pisses you off?
Why is it a sin for a woman to abort a baby, but you do it all the time and it's okay?
Why do Mormons wear funny underwear and where can I find a pair?
Is it true that all dogs go to heaven? What about cats? I know Iam loves his cat and so do I. Why can't they go to heaven too?
Could you uncreate yourself?
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| Sep 15 @ 5:39 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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j_goose
Posts: 2,911
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Did Adam and Eve have belly butttons?
No. One was made from dirt, the other a rib. Don't you read the Bible?
How many animals were on the ark?
All of them. God made them go.
If you're God, why did you rest on the 7th day?
He was freaking TIRED. Plus, his wife Asherah, was feeing a bit "freaky Deaky"....God's gotta get some ass too, you know.....
Why did you ask Abe to kill his son, and it's not wrong, yet if I asked someone to kill my son I'd go to jail for it?
Because the OT God changed into the loving NT god.
Why are you so jealous and angry? Can't you just zap anyone who pisses you off?
The lord is not Jealous nor is he angry. You are misinterpreting the Bible.
Zapping someone that pisses him off would interfere with "free Will"
Why is it a sin for a woman to abort a baby, but you do it all the time and it's okay?
Who said it was a sin? In Genesis, Adam did not "live" until the "breath of life" was breathed into him.
Why do Mormons wear funny underwear and where can I find a pair?
Satan makes them wear those. And you may need to go on a Mormon Panty Raid to get some.
Is it true that all dogs go to heaven? What about cats? I know Iam loves his cat and so do I. Why can't they go to heaven too?
Animals do not have souls.
Could you uncreate yourself?
No. God has no beginning and no end.
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| Sep 15 @ 5:53 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game.
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CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
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Catz n' dogz return to the universal energy after casting off their mortal coils lol... There is HOPE.  The universe doesn't trash anything, everything is recycled  
Hey I once had a "cats only" supernatural experience. Two years back my parents took one of their 5 cats to the vet for an acute sinusitis condition. Some fifteen minutes before their return, the other four cats all came out in the yard and started looking around. I'd never seen them do anything together before. Then the sun broke the clouds and all these rays of sunlight shone down on us. The cats just sort of stood there watching.
Then the car arrived. My parents had had the cat put down because it was an acute recurrent problem, on the vet's advice. They brought back a deceased cat. They laid it down in the garden to let all the other cats say goodbye. They all came and sniffed and greeted him. Then they all slowly went away, one back inside and the rest out. It was very WEIRD.... Those cats KNEW... I'm absolutely certain of that !
I'm serious here, people !! It happened ! 
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| Sep 15 @ 5:58 PM |
God, the Joker card. Let's play a game. |
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j_goose
Posts: 2,911
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Dead Pussy story.?
Should I tell you about my Ex-wife?
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