| Oct 6 @ 1:41 AM |
Forgiveness
|
|
kjac
Posts: 8,163
|
I've recently started confronting issues about my past that I've kept bottled up. A friend told me that forgiveness is divine. But here's the question.
Is it possible to forgive someone who refuses to even admit they were wrong? And even if it were possible, is forgiveness really helpful in the spiritual healing process?
|
|
  |
|
| Oct 6 @ 2:06 AM |
Forgiveness |
|
CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
|
 People will rarely admit when they were wrong... on account of ego. But it doesn't really matter if they admit it or not. Forgiveness isn't about who was wrong, it's a way of moving on, of getting your own life back and not allowing someone's ill deeds to dominate your psyche.
Yes, it's for the benefit of your own spiritual progress, so 'you' don't get caught in a negative downward spiral (you = figurative only, could just as well be me.)
Forgive but you don't have to forget...  Then hopefully you won't have to relive anything similar. 
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 2:08 AM |
Forgiveness
|
|
MrPaul
Posts: 1,614
|
CPU 100% on the money 
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 7:32 AM |
Forgiveness |
|
Deborah551
Posts: 1,015
|
Hey Paul, I 100% your 100% of CPU's post! Good answer CPU.
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 7:40 AM |
Forgiveness
|
|
yashaenka
Posts: 8,236
|
Is it possible to forgive someone who refuses to even admit they were wrong? And even if it were possible, is forgiveness really helpful in the spiritual healing process?
If you think about forgiving what does it really mean? Does it mean to forgive someone? Well if you forgive someone you still remember what they did to you and no matter how hard you try you cannot forget that.
So why you think you forgave someone it will still fester in you. Instead try reducing the weight you gave that person to your own emotions, do you really need them in your life, if not, out of sight, out of mind.
Move on, move beyond the past to today, then tomorrow etc....
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 8:32 AM |
Forgiveness |
|
Jankia
Posts: 11,895
|
Forgiveness isnt a matter of hoping the forgiven will admit to a wrong its for you to admit its no longer a wrong that was done to you.
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 8:52 AM |
Forgiveness
|
|
yashaenka
Posts: 8,236
|
If a wrong was done to you then a wrong was done to you it is simply bad form to give another any weight who has wronged you, move beyond it.
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 8:55 AM |
Forgiveness |
|
alivenwell351
Posts: 3,017
|
A therapist friend once told me that one should not forgive because they think it's the right thing to do, but because they're sure it's the only thing to do...
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 9:10 AM |
Forgiveness
|
|
yashaenka
Posts: 8,236
|
Yes to allow things like this to fester in you robs you of energy, may make you physically ill so it is in your best interest to move beyond it.
After Nam as a young man I hated almost everything Asian and everyone who I respected said the only way to rid myself of that perception was to face it head on. So when an opportunity came to work in Japan came along I moved there temporarily and that lasted 15 years living in other asian countries as well.
That is an example off putting something behind you and for the last decade or so I have noticed other vets returning to Nam for the very same reasons.
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 9:29 AM |
Forgiveness |
|
southernlass
Posts: 2,211
|
Forgiveness is more important to the one harmed than to the one who has done the harming.
I had no idea you were a Nam veteran, Yash. I always admire those who've given back to our country through service in the military.
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 9:54 AM |
Forgiveness
|
|
yashaenka
Posts: 8,236
|
Well it was not voluntary I got my degree in Physics from UCLA then was automatically drafted then became a 90 day wonder, image that an officer in only 90 days.
But like most of the band of Brothers and Sisters over there we did our duty but wondered if everyone in Congress had become feeble along with the President, none of it made any sense to those who were there.
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 10:12 AM |
Forgiveness |
|
lazareth
Posts: 1,473
|
Is it possible to forgive someone who refuses to even admit they were wrong? And even if it were possible, is forgiveness really helpful in the spiritual healing process?
CPU offered..
Yes, it's for the benefit of your own spiritual progress, so 'you' don't get caught in a negative downward spiral (you = figurative only, could just as well be me.)
CPU hit the nail on the head..
My biological father was abusive to us kids...
When he was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and I took care of him, I had to go through the forgiveness process for MY own sanity...
I also had to consider why my father was abusive .... it really had nothing to do with me.
Not forgiving and not moving on can eat you alive.. doesn't mean you forget about the abuse... it just means you refuse to have it control the rest of your life
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 10:25 AM |
Forgiveness
|
|
yashaenka
Posts: 8,236
|
right on....
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 2:33 PM |
Forgiveness |
|
Merchitown
Posts: 6,129
|
Is it possible to forgive someone who refuses to even admit they were wrong?
Yep.
(I know, that was highly informative, wasn't it? )
And even if it were possible, is forgiveness really helpful in the spiritual healing process?
Yes, it is helpful. Even if it weren't, I find it necessary just due to the legal ramifications of NOT forgiving. There is a lot of anger in not forgiving, what else are you going to do with it? Usually people have a breaking point and it finds an outlet and not a very constructive one. I have NO idea why the law frowns on public disturbances, assault with a deadly weapon and so on.
If there were no forgiveness, honestly, I think there would be many less people in the world. Maybe that's not such a bad idea. 
|
| |
|
| Oct 6 @ 8:05 PM |
Forgiveness
|
|
Fender
Posts: 8,494
|
Forgiveness doesn't come easy to me...I let everything build up...I don't believe in I'm sorry...
I think over time...Pain over some things lessen and that's when you can start to get past it...Move on.
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 7 @ 12:33 PM |
Forgiveness |
|
kjac
Posts: 8,163
|
The thing is, I don't believe forgiveness is needed to have a normal life. I'm about as close to normal as I'll ever be, and am enjoying life. But for me, forgiveness isn't an option in this case. But that doesn't mean I can't live my life the way I want, and do what it takes to make me happy.
|
| |
|
| Oct 7 @ 12:45 PM |
Forgiveness
|
|
CPUfan
Posts: 7,983
|
Maybe you just found peace anyway KJ...
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 8 @ 6:05 AM |
Forgiveness |
|
missylulu
Posts: 3
|
To harbor unforgiveness is only self-destructive. The person or persons you are unforgiving towards could care less whether you forgive them or not, and many of them take delight in thinking they still have the upper hand over you by keeping you angry at them. Why do that to yourself or for them?
|
| |
|
| Oct 8 @ 10:14 AM |
Forgiveness
|
|
yashaenka
Posts: 8,236
|
Why does lulu keep closing her account or is this just the Mod toying with us he does have a good sense of humor. 
|
|
| |
|
| Oct 9 @ 4:32 PM |
Forgiveness |
|
Bj864
Posts: 3,958
|
I must admit that I still have a little bit of a problem understanding forgiveness.
Forgive means to wipe clean. If you forgive a debt, the person no longer owes it for it is forgiven.
Can a wrong done to a person ever be wiped clean? I don't know how.
I guess the closest I can come to thinking I have forgiven someone, is when I feel sorry for the person that wronged me. After all they ended up losing me as a friend or whatever. I moved on without them. Of course it takes something pretty big for me to do this, but I have done it a few times in my life.
I also had to consider why my father was abusive .... it really had nothing to do with me.
Those are the key words - It really had nothing to do with me. Most usually when a person mistreats you, it is because of something to do with them. That doesn't mean though, that we should just take whatever is dished out to us, does it?
|
| |
|
|
|
|