| Apr 5 @ 12:39 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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Paralegal_at_Law
Posts: 5,068
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Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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| Apr 5 @ 12:53 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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Novalite
Posts: 3,093
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| Apr 5 @ 1:23 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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thegoodideaman
Posts: 1,915
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That's Unfair...
these terms don't apply only to the NeoCons and the ilk...
some of them could be applied to people from all walks of life...
what have the Federalists done to you to deserve such scorn ?
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| Apr 5 @ 1:28 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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Novalite
Posts: 3,093
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Good Idea, you just proved his point. 
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| Apr 5 @ 1:33 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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thegoodideaman
Posts: 1,915
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read it again, and pretend I'm being Sarcastic...
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| Apr 5 @ 1:35 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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SweetNapaGuy
Posts: 4,554
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I don't know. The second definition seems especially appropriate to the OP...
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| Apr 5 @ 1:37 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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Novalite
Posts: 3,093
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Okay, my humor meter seems to need some recalibration. 
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| Apr 5 @ 1:38 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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thegoodideaman
Posts: 1,915
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lol, Number 8 
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| Apr 5 @ 1:43 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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Novalite
Posts: 3,093
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Oh that one is great. Good eye! And, this is the one I will take with me to the outside world tongiht lol. Whenever I have to say 'budda boom' for the hillbillies I'll give this one as a uiet after joke for those informed. Just as an after play moment.
[Edited on 4/5/2008 1:56 AM]
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| Apr 5 @ 1:45 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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thegoodideaman
Posts: 1,915
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Probably not...
often I'm the only one that thinks I'm funny...
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| Apr 5 @ 1:51 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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Novalite
Posts: 3,093
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No, you do have humor, I recognize that and, a very unique way of putting things however much I might disagree with those views. 
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| Apr 5 @ 9:25 PM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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Loreli
Posts: 20,315
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15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 
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| Apr 5 @ 9:29 PM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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BandTMom
Posts: 28,408
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4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly
They actually were all funny!
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| Apr 5 @ 11:15 PM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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kattsmeow
Posts: 21,272
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16. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
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| Apr 6 @ 9:54 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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Jankia
Posts: 9,149
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Thanks for the laughs Para,#13 seems appropriate for your forum flamer friend. 
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| Apr 6 @ 11:03 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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SweetNapaGuy
Posts: 4,554
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Thank you for pointing that one out, Jankia. It does seem to be particularly appropriate for Para's spate of proposals, on which he's done nothing more than make gross generalizations and reject valid criticisms.
If he'd just submit at least one proposal to the legislator of his choice, I'm sure we'd see plenty of action. (Keeping in mind, "to laugh" is a verb/action...)
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| Apr 6 @ 12:30 PM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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Paralegal_at_Law
Posts: 5,068
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Thanks for the laughs Para,#13 seems appropriate for your forum flamer friend
OK, I'm in. See you your number 13 and to "sweeten the pot," with regard to the same Nemises, I will also raise you numbers 2 and 5 to fill in the trifecta!
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| Apr 6 @ 12:41 PM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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SweetNapaGuy
Posts: 4,554
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Quite correct. All three perfectly describe you. Quite the "hat trick."
(Nemesis. Nemesis. Plural is "nemeses." Bookstores sell dictionaries. Electronic stores sell spell checkers. And you can always Google a word you don't know...)
Cite: Transcontinental canals-slash-aquaducts. Mile-deep moats. Million-mom volunteer surrogate squads.
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NB: Heh. My memory is correct. It's quite ironic you chose that word, as the Nemesis is the deity of retributive justice against those who punishes those who commit the sin of hubris. Given the number of reality-defying proposals you've made, you've got Greek tragedy levels of hubris showing...
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| Apr 12 @ 4:36 AM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious
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Paralegal_at_Law
Posts: 5,068
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More of the same for your entertainment and delight:
POPE-Pouree = A New Vatican Wine
Creav-Ass - implants for Buttocks
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| Apr 13 @ 2:16 PM |
A thread ONLY for Neocons and Federalists (for reasons which will become obvious |
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SweetNapaGuy
Posts: 4,554
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I've come up with one. One that doesn't even need to have the original definition changed...
Reptard:
(verb)
1 : to slow up especially by preventing or hindering advance or accomplishment : impede
2 : to delay academic progress by failure to promote
intransitive verb
: to undergo retardation
(noun)
1 a holding back or slowing down : retardation
2 often offensive : a retarded person; also : a person held to resemble a retarded person in behavior
Yep, same definitions, even with a letter added...
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