| Nov 26, 2006 @ 10:35 PM |
Alcohol abuse...
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KiddBilly
Posts: 26
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I'm not sure if this is the proper forum for this, but I figured since it does affect your health, it is as good a place as any. Anyway...here goes...
I have recently been told by someone very important to me that I may have some anger management issues. Naturally, I scoffed at the idea at first. So she made me listen to some saved voice mails to make her point. While we were arguing at the time, and she did some things that would make anyone mad, I did realize I said some very mean things instead of just working it out. I had decided on anger mangement counselling. A couple weeks in it seemed this wasn't going to work for me so I stopped going. I screwed up again...bad. This time I came to my own realization. That these problems only arose when I drank, and I was drinking more and more often because of the fighting. A vicious circle kind of thing. So now I am sure that I have a drinking problem and that is the cause of my problems. I haven't discussed it with her yet because I want to let her know I'm serious about it by having a plan, not just acknowledging the problem. My question is, how do I start? It is simply out of the question to do a 28 day rehab because I wouldn't have a job when I came back, and I'm not sure that it is that extreme that that is necessary. AA meetings seem to focus alot around God, and I don't believe in religion in general, and certainly not in God. So does anyone know somewhere that sounds right for me? I appreciate any help. Thanks for listening.
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| Nov 28, 2006 @ 8:01 PM |
Alcohol abuse... |
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uab_5
Posts: 2,371
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One you could quit cold turkey like Art Alexkais of Everclear did.
Unfortunately, this doesn't address the big issue of why you drink.
For me, I drank,raised my voice, and punched holes in sheetrock because I'm an asshole.
The 12 Steps were a big part of me addressing the problems I had with me, which have led to a happier life.
Almost all in-patient drunk tanks involve working the 12 Steps.
I've attached a portion involving the Third Step which I think you might find helpful.
Big Book: We Agnostics said:
In the preceding chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. we hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.
To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.
But it isn't so difficult. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life or else. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you. But cheer up, something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted.
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. we had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored.
We know how he feels. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently anti-religious. To others, the word "God" brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism. We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, "Who, then, make all this?" There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost.
Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences. Let us make haste to reassure you. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.
Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another's conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men.
When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you.
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| Jan 18, 2007 @ 7:01 PM |
Alcohol abuse...
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shellsmack1
Posts: 852
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I know this is kind of off the subject. But I dated an alcoholic for 6 years. It was very hard. The hurt and tears took their toll on me but I love him so much that I stayed with him. No, he didn't abuse me physically...just emotionally and in my heart. Everything was about him and I'm the one who suffered for it.
 It's been hard.
He got nailed for it at his job and had to start AA. He's been doing pretty well, trying real hard but still falls sometimes. But what's most sad, is now that he's semi-sober, he says I'm boring, we have nothing in common, he doesn't want to marry me anymore and if someone else comes along I should go for it. Oh, but he still loves me with all his heart and for the rest of his life. 
Wow, all I've had to deal with, stayed around and this is what I get out of it all.
I unloaded...sorry. I just hope you find help for you and those around you. But also remember, there are those who stuck by your side through thick and thin. Their the ones who really love you...don't throw them away while working thru it. They deserve more then that.
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| Jan 19, 2007 @ 12:56 AM |
Alcohol abuse... |
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stormy73
Posts: 1,164
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I've said it several times on this website in the past, but I'll say it again....
I'm 45 years old, and have never tasted ANY alcohol... not even beer... and I'm so glad! 
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| Jan 22, 2007 @ 2:21 PM |
Alcohol abuse...
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tatiana329
Posts: 1,122
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I thought AA focused on "higher power"... that does not mean God, means whatever is your higher power. Its good you recognize you may have some issues and willing to work at them.
I would suggest you ask in your AA group about the "higher power" concept as there has top be more people who are agnostic or atheist in the group besides you.
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